Self reflection

I began my Computer Science journey pretty early – almost around my entrance to secondary education. Hence, I am able to grasp a solid understanding of what CS is trying to do and what the ultimate goals are for CS. However, the same does not hold for mathematics and statistics: I can describe my learning in these two subjects as “stuffing a duck” – I digest knowledge without knowing why we need to study it (not the shallow application of each formula or rule I learned, but the ultimate purpose of what mathematics (the subject) wants to achieve. The same holds for statistics as well.) That’s why, after having three semesters in university, I feel increasingly bored by mathematics and statistics subjects and even question myself why I need to study them (I don’t want any answers involving real-life applications e.g., “To calculate areas for home renovation; predict future income;” but what I want is something philosophical and not influenced by society (aka not sticking to the “values” society wants us to have) – Why did we create mathematics in the first place?).

That’s why you see this post. I want to share these thoughts with all the people who feel lost about their life meaning after entering university.

This post is inspired by ThisIsXXZ posts:

• 我的第一次反向传播
  • He talked about the study method transition after graduated from secondary school and entered university, which I pretty much agree with him.
  • Side note: He mentioned the new way of taking notes which I found pretty inspirational.
• Meanings of Life
  • Literally, meaning of life. I have fallen into the “meaning of life” the society fabricated many times - and is not really what I want.

Note: I revised this post in September 2026. The original version included a long attempt to answer the questions above. I no longer think that answer reflects how I understand mathematics, statistics, or learning, so I decided to leave the questions here and remove the old answer.